My weekend with the children

My weekend with the children begins when I get off of work; I ended my day early so I gave my children a call on the phone to see if they were prepared for the weekend visit with me. It was about 3:30 PM. I was hoping that because I work half way between my house and my wife’s new rental that I could cut my wear and tear and fuel consumption on my vehicle. My wife was once concerned about those issues, apparently not any more. Now it is all about how she can deny me time with my children. I called my wife’s cell phone after talking to my children, I never was called back. The children told me that I wasn’t to pick them up before 6:00 PM.  This would put me behind in the things that I wanted to accomplish for me and my children. There is a lot to do, so after a shower and getting down to pick up my children about 6:20 and waiting until about 6:40 until the children came out to the car. I don’t rush to demand compliance because I know all of the stress that I am going to receive, and as always I am so correct. The process has always been about making me wait, while demanding that I would always be on time at all times and places. This is a process that is going to change, I will always be on time, and if people are causing me to be late or are holding up my progress, I will record what they are doing and how they are interfering with the process. I have to compensate and make sure that I am the perfect one. I can’t be perfect but I might be able to be better than I have been, I’ve made a few mistakes that have hurt me tremendously.

After getting my children in the car I started talking to my daughter about the therapy that she is undergoing she told me that her mother had picked up the new prescription for Lemictal and that they had put a call in for a conversation with the prescribing physician. The physician is on vacation and another doctor was to call them back. The other doctor never called.

My daughter being off from school spent the whole week with her brother and is not prepared to be his care taker, they have a lot of sibling rivalry issues that need to be dealt with. I was to offer some relief to this problem if I could have been involved in their lives more intimately, in such a way as to have the children for an overnight visit and having my son watched by the childcare group that he is enrolled with. The only problem is that my wife is not willing to share our children, as is the custody agreement, that we have shared custody, while she has primary care.

This should be interpreted that she gets the children overnight during the week and every other weekend while the children are enrolled or going to school. The vacation schedules are omitted and I know for a fact that her lawyer would deny me my rights to parent these children if possible. My wife has created a false reality to make me appear to be an unfit parent with a mental condition. All of this is based on her fabrications presented as reoccurring events. The problem is that while we have both made mistakes, my mistakes are always remembered while I try to forget her mistakes. This is not a two way street where she is sharing the road, she is driving down the middle and taking up both sides of the roadway. She has created a situation to be a gambit. My wife had me committed to use this against me in maneuvering our children away from my life. She now uses my daughter’s therapy to create a situation that would create emotional distress for me and interfere with my relationship with our children. How do I get my daughter to choose not to take medication that is only offered because the root issue of the problem is not addressed? The root issue is the problem of how my daughter perceives my involvement in her life. This has been the issue all along; this issue involves other aspects of her memories as well. We talked for a little while on the ride to the restaurant where I was going to get the opportunity to get something to eat.  Since the children had been fed by my wife, I decided to offer them some dessert. I need to make sure that the children do not drink too much soda. They really like root beer. My son ordered a hot chocolate but wasn’t thrilled when he found they used a powdered mix and there were a few lumps in his drink. The children were loud and a bit obnoxious. This is because they are neglected by their mother. I know how these two react and it is always a period of time before they settle down and start to work together, instead of being at each others throat. We can pull together as a broken family if only we can get more time together, the peculiars of what my wife has brought into our lives is hostility and it keeps showing up in ways that deeply hurt me. Every time I turn around my wife seems to be doing something to hurt me emotionally or physically.

Watching my daughter confused and conflicted over the use of Lemictal is real disturbing to me. My wife and daughter know that she is not on the therapeutic level and this is an experiment on the doctor’s part. He is using this drug off label for its intended use as a Bi-polar medication and giving the drug to my daughter for what he believes is a type of depression. This is a depression alright; it is induced by the behaviors of the mother that is a control freak. My wife is the one that needs to be evaluated for her issues that she never dealt with properly. She was seriously abused by her father and makes claims that are far from the truth about me and her family. When confronted my wife will run away, that is what she did as a child, when her father scared her, and she is easily scared and runs away even today. One day she will realize that I never tried to scare her; she became afraid because of all of the stereotyping that society berated her with and I am just another person that became the victim of society’s fears and the fears of a woman that was afraid to truly love, emotionally and physically. I was able to get my wife to love me physically, but we never made the emotional connection, and if it was possible it was when my daughter opened up to counseling. Instead of getting connected, we were short circuited, torn apart. I do not agree with using my daughter, as a guinea pig to prove to me that psychiatrist’s, have any idea (today or in the past) of how the mind works fully. Our society is learning more and more about how the mind works, what we do not understand is how the mind is healed. In order to heal the mind we need to communicate with the mind, and that means that someone has to listen. That dialogue requires two people or more to sit down and discuss issues. That gives value to the victim and allows the victim to teach about an abuse. When you have a victim you have a person that was abused. How do we help the victims? Who is the victim in this case? We are all victims of our past and present offenses and reactions.

My daughter told me in no uncertain terms that I am correct in the things that I have shared with her. My intuition is very good, and I know what she is going through. I know I can help her through these trying times; it is not good that I would give up my struggle to obtain custody; the children need the stability that I will provide for them.

The behaviors of the children at the restaurant were not perfect but I don’t expect perfection when I know the struggles that exist between the two of them and how there life is. I wish I had the money to provide for my family and be there for the children with out worrying about having to teach others what the experience has been and how my life has been affected by being the victim of abusiveness the struggle with the lie’s that have been told and the injustices that have occurred as a result.

After dinner, we came home and played chess. My daughter is really getting good at this game, she really wants to beat dear ole’ dad. My son played on the computer. I have to be careful at playing chess with my daughter she is going to win soon; I know that she can do it. While playing and talking with her I noticed that her speech was affected, her thoughts are broken and she was having trouble putting complete ideas together, and when playing around physically she was very aggressive and used her fingernails to claw at my wrists, she drew blood while playing around. I wonder if this was part of the effects of being on the medication. I’ll keep watching to see what other things happen.

We went to bed just after 11:00 PM and the children slept in late. I am allowing that because I know that they will want to stay up late tonight. I know that they are going to call their mom at midnight. We need to do some shopping, so after we eat; it will be a mission to get supplies for tonight. First I’m going to get rid of some old stuff in the refrigerator. There isn’t much in my refrigerator, so that won’t take long, I hope to get some ingredients that the children will enjoy and will be easy to make for diners after school next week. I figure this is part of living and the children have to be involved in all aspects of life supply and demand. Tomorrow we can play, today we will prepare for the rest of the week.

12-28 Today was interesting

Today, an interesting day, my turn to have some time with the children, we went out for dinner, I was to have them until 8:00 PM but because they were slow getting out to the car, I was permitted to have them for an extended period of time. I called just after 5:00 and it took around 20 minutes to arrive at her rental house. My wife came out to talk to me and I noticed immediately that she looked different, prettier than usual, she had her hair cut and because of some paint that got in her hair while repainting some room, she decided to dye her hair. She wanted to go lighter, she would because I wanted her to go darker, she wouldn’t go darker because she said or thought that I was trying to make her into some fantasy woman or that I was comparing her to other women. As it worked out they temporarily dyed her hair darker, and it does look nice. But nothing will cover up the deceit and the inability to apologize or correct the wrong that is being committed. She still has many emotional issues, and they are affecting our children.  

In the drive way/parking lot there was a car that looks just like the car the detective drove. A four door Intrepid, it is almost the same color, I demonstrated for my wife before the children came out to the car, how close the detective drove that car to my person. For all my talking this was the first time that I could actually demonstrate just how reckless the detective drove his car. Four years later.

Finally the children came out; I waited until about 5:50 and now we were ready to leave. The car had left the parking lot and was just returning when we were leaving. I told the children that when we would come back I would show them the demonstration that I showed their mother. I think that the demonstration impressed my daughter; my wife was only concerned about a dog that might get offended; she was worried that I might get attacked while I was talking to her, (my wife). I found my wife’s concerns unwarranted and rude, the dog was way too far away, and I was only talking. My wife thinks that I talk to loud and that I am trying to cause a scene, as I try to explain things. She has very sensitive hearing, and I pointed out that what she is really saying is I am not allowed to have any human emotions, I’ve heard that kind of talk before.

I took the children to a restaurant and to a bowling alley; the bowling idea was nixed because it was league night. So we drove back to my wife’s house via the long way, and I dropped off the children at about 8:15 PM.

I did that demonstration for my children, my daughter actually listened and saw the demonstration and understood why it was so wrong for a man in the position of authority to be driving such a car that doesn’t look anything like a police car and to be derelict in not immediately identifying himself as a police officer, that he was in a position to help control the disturbance, even if his interpretation was wrong, he could have been less aggressive. I had no idea the detective was an officer of the court until much later at the scene of this incident. He was in an unmarked car dressed up in a suit. He looked like any other white collar worker in a rush to get home or go to a meeting.  

Getting the children back early should have made my wife happy, as she didn’t have her banquet due to an illness in a new born to a former tech. My wife’s boss is very involved in the health of this little one. So prayers go out to that family that the little heart would be healed.


I stopped in at a Radio Shack; I have some thoughts about something that I have intention to do. We will see in the future if I can do what I intend.

Then I wrote this post and now I am going to get ready for bed, I read in the obituaries today that a former co-worker that I used to work with over 20 years ago had passed away, he had to retire early due to cancer behind the eye, and this illness was the cause of his early death at age 65. My heart and prayers go out to this family also; I know that Leroy Fox is now in the presence of GOD.

Leroy was a great man, kind and caring, and a great worker. He was a helper and was very honest. He liked to play, but he knew when to perform his duties and always stayed focused.

GOD Bless ALL, ALL that Bless GOD,

Sincerely,

Gary

Well yesterday was Christmas

Well yesterday was Christmas, I did some work around the house, and spent some time on the message boards getting caught up on all that is going on in my life and the lives of others that I care very deeply about. I mentioned that with the past history of problems picking up the children from the mother’s house, that I wouldn’t be surprised that I would have problems even on this special day. The custody stipulation that we both agreed to stated that I could have the children from 12:00 in the afternoon till?  Well being that it was Christmas and I didn’t have to work today I thought that maybe we could spend a whole day together this day, their mother had the children all of Saturday and half of Christmas day. Wouldn’t it be fair that I should have the second half of Christmas day and Monday? Nope… She closed the door on any visitations from me during this next week with the one exception that I might spend some time with the children on Wednesday from when I get off of work until 8:00 P.M. So here we go, this is what happened.

In my generosity, I decided not to rush and push the issue; I was stressed knowing that this was going to be a confrontation. Suddenly the time was passing away, I called my wife’s cell phone and there was no answer, I left a brief message and called her house phone. To my surprise a woman that I know is nasty and mean, answers the phone. A visitor that used to be close to the two of us, my wife and me, answered my wife’s phone. She acts like she can’t here me on the other end of the line, she claims that there is static and tells the dog that the phone is for her. Then she hangs up. It was 12:13 P.M. when I made that first contact that day, I wasn’t rushing, I didn’t want to cause a big scene, I just wanted to spend some time with my children on Christmas day. I wanted to share with them that I love them and care about them. I arrived at my wife’s at 12:44 P.M. I called her house yet again and the woman that was still there this friend of my wife answered the phone again. This time she asked who was calling and explained that my wife was too busy to come to the phone. I waited about 7 minutes and my wife came outside, we talked for about an hour and ten minutes. That is where she laid down the law, that she was the primary care giver and she would not allow me to have more time with the children than necessary. She talked about all the wrongs that I ever committed and explained that she nearly didn’t leave our residence; she tried to tell me that it was a hard decision for her to make and once again she never acknowledged that she did any thing wrong. She requested a train platform that was up in the attic of the house that was ours when she left me. Instead of getting the children, I decided to do something for them. I decided to retrieve that platform, requested by their mother. I knew the platform wouldn’t fit in her car, my 4x4 would be able to carry it and two bicycles too.

I headed off back that drive, all the way back to in front of my house, there was some snow and ice on the road and the rain coming down made it impossible to move once I parked my vehicle, loaded my things I found that I was stuck for a time.  Finally getting back on my way, I arrived at my wife’s for another attempt at what would make my day. A chance to spend time with my children that is all I wanted for Christmas.

After another 45 min. wait, the children finally piled into my vehicle. We headed off, for what to do next? We could go see a movie, have some dinner, or get a chance to play chess. It was well after four P.M. when we started our day; and I returned them around nine, I really didn’t care about the drop off time.

This is typical, my life with my wife, and the challenges that I face, because of the race, the disgrace, that I suffered as a result of things done to me, that were fabricated, and never discovered. I had plenty of evidence to expose the lies that were designed to keep me and the truth fettered. I had no help from the system that would create such a debacle. The truth needs to be told, to be unfettered, that is the transparency that will make our society a true democracy. We can then work together as a great global community.

The next task is to put into court the petition to be heard about the theft of my security and last month’s rent.

Slowly moving, first to pay some bills and to try and try again. What can a person do, on his own?

Peace and Blessings,

Sincerely,

Gary